The right to defend ourselves and claim back our power

I am so sad to read about the woman who has now died due to her ordeal being raped on a bus in Delhi. How can that even happen? How can someone be violated for an hour on a bus?

What is happening in our World where we allow boys to grow up thinking it is ok to this? Rape is not sex – rape is violence. It is raw and it is apparently happening every 14 hours in India according to the BBC’s website. I might add that is to women. Who knows how often rape and gang rape happens to men. Rape against women and men are still not talked about. It is still a taboo and is maybe one of the most horrific forms of violence.

And there is still so much ignorance. It was only a couple of years ago that Judge Derek Johnson in California proclaimed that “If someone doesn’t want to have sexual intercourse, the body shuts down. The body will not permit that to happen…”. Really?

I am no expect in these matters. I can only express a small part of my thoughts and feelings. I am aware that sexual violence happens in relationships, in families, between people who were thought to be friends, to children, at nightclubs, in parks, with strangers, in wars… But rape is never, never, ok. It is brutal and destructive.

We need to educate our children to grow up to respect other people. And educate ourselves to be able to say no, defend and protect our selves. The most empowering thing I have ever done was a Self-Defence Course for Women. It was by a charity called London Centre for Personal Safety. I can not recommend them enough. That afternoon changed my life – it showed me the courage and strength I never knew I had.

Living in fear is never useful but being aware is. Let’s take back our power. The power to say no, to self-defend and to our own courage. As a society and community we have to show that violence including rape is unacceptable. May the lives of those who have been violated be a catalyst for us to stop ignoring and start a change.