I am not in a rush!

It feels like there is an epidemic of rushing. Of rushing to get as much done as possible. Rushing to do it as quickly as possible so we can rush to do even more.

For a long while “I am not in a rush!” has been my mantra. I am in the recovery of the addiction of being busy being busy (yes, you read that right). 

There are many potential reasons for this. My self-analysis gives me plenty of whys of me being busy, rushing and having a tendency to hypervigilance. But aside from that I believe it’s a very cultural expression.

Women, rushing and anticipating

I have been talking with female friends who have experienced the exact same feeling. The sense that we are expected to rush. To anticipate for everyone’s moods, requirements, demands… Is that a specific female “thing”? I am asking because a lot of the books on this subject is about women. And because the anticipating of others needs and rushing seem to come up when I speak with female friends. And I can understand this being a woman myself. 

I was sharing some of these thoughts in a previous newsletter so this text may look familiar. If you don’t already receive my emails make sure you get them here

I so busy all the time…

In our society being busy is almost like a mark of honour. If you ask someone have they are it’s often we a sigh of “how stressed they are”, “being super busy”,” having a lot on”, “rushing around”… 

And if you choose to say no, no to the extra thing that you could do but don’t have to do you are seen as lazy or not pulling your weight. 

We are obsessed with trying to destress yet we are also addicted to stress.

Because if we are not busy being busy then what?

• Then we are alone with all the feelings

• We might be overwhelmed with tiredness or exhaustion

• We might notice where we are unfulfilled - and then decide what to do about it

• We might notice what we love, like, dislike, or find challenging in our own being - and in others… and what do we want to do about that?

• Feeling the feelings we could start to experience feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, depression. We notice that being busy and stressed was an addiction, coping mechanism. 

In fact  “stress may even be as addictive as drugs. In addition to the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline, stress also releases dopamine, a “feel good” chemical. Dopamine encourages repeat behaviors by activating the reward center in our brain and may be at the heart of many addictive behaviors and substance abuse issues”. (stress.org)

Stop and breathe

When I notice I am rushing I stop and breathe. I often rush when I write. I write quickly; maybe I get excited and rush in the flow. I rush my breath or hold it. I am aware of this tendency right now writing these words.

So I took a breath. And now I slow down my typing - and more importantly my breathing. And my body knows there is no stress…

Being still or slowing down takes time.

Just think about it in our yoga classes (online or in person). If you have been rushing around all day and then you sit down and you are invited to be still. Some people drop into the stillness right away. Others finds it challenging. Needing to move, get agitated, irritated or uncomfortable. 

But perhaps once we moved, once you have started to regulate your breath and your nervous system - then it’s easier to slow down. To stop. No longer rushing (even through the flow! Yes, I see you…), and perhaps you are simply being (not rushing) in an asana/pose, in meditation, in shavasana.

And we are learning to not rushing, not doing but simply being.